Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The Implosion Will Not Be Reversible

by Angela Genusa

With all due respect to Gil Scott-Heron

You will not be able to run to the store for a loaf of bread, people.
You will not be able to buy Viagra, Cialis, Levitra or Valium.
You will not be able to Enlarge your Pole with Wonder Pills
or Earn the Degree You Deserve,
Because the implosion will not be reversible.

The implosion will not be reversible.
The implosion will not be brought to you by Google
or Yahoo! with ads for free ringtones
or local singles, flashing in the sidebar.
The implosion will not show you pictures of Amy Winehouse
Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears
entering rehab at Promises Treatment Center in Malibu.

The implosion will not be reversible.
The implosion will not be brought to you by
The Top Ten Penis Enlargement Products and
will not advertise Chanel, Chloe and Hermes or Gucci and Armani knock-offs.
The implosion will not sell you Startling Rolexes at the Lowest Prices
from Replica Watches or the World's Largest Selection of Meds from Online Pharmacies.
The implosion will not give you a a Longer and Thicker Dong.
The implosion will not give you Boobs as Big as Balloons,
because the implosion will not be reversible, people,
and you will be suffering withdrawal symptoms like a motherfucker
from Paxil, Effexor, Lexapro, Klonopin, Adderall, and Xanax.

There will be no pictures of you on Myspace or Facebook
getting shitfaced with your buds on Friday night.
You will not be able to get by anymore by
selling your Beanie Babies and collectibles on eBay.
Oprah will not be able to launch the next best-seller
and Dr. Phil will not be able to stop you from
running away from home or give you a free extreme makeover
with liposuction, breast implants, and a tummy tuck.
The implosion will not be reversible.

There will be no automobiles running the highways,
nor will there be people driving to work in SUVs.
Tom will not be sitting at his desk at MySpace headquarters
with all his notes on the whiteboard behind him.
There will be no error messages on MySpace
that say "Sorry, an error has occurred,"
or announcements about Blogger outages.
There will be no news about Rupert Murdoch's latest acquisition
or mergers of gigantic global megacorporations or questions
about whether or not Microsoft will succeed without Bill Gates.
There will be no news about Angelina and Brad's new baby
or Tom and Katie's divorce or Britney and K Fed's custody battle.
There will be no old men wearing sweaters and
smiley buttons to greet you at Wal-Mart.
You will no longer have to fret about why
your Social Security check is late,
having to go through the body scanner at the airport,
or having to wait in line at the department of motor vehicles.

American Idol, America's Top Model, Law and Order: SVU,
and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation will no longer be so goddamned relevant,
and no one will give a shit if the Red Sox beat the New York Yankees
because people everywhere will be in the street,
scrounging for something to eat and a place to sleep.
The implosion will not be reversible.

There will be no ten o'clock news and no up-to-the-minute news reports
of body counts in the Iraq War or Myanmar relief or California wildfires
or Iowa floods or Obama Barack's latest speech.
The theme song will not be written by Bob Dylan,
Isaac Hayes, or Amy Winehouse, nor sung by 50 Cent, Lil Wayne,
Madonna, Garth Brooks, Carrie Underwood, or Mariah Carey.
The implosion will not be reversible.

The Super Bowl will not be back after billion-dollar
commercial breaks for Diet Pepsi, Budweiser, GMC, or Chase VISA.
You will not have to worry about building a resume for CareerBuilder.com,
wonder whether Disney World is as much fun for adults as it is for kids,
or decide it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight with FedEx.
The implosion will not shatter the competition with Dell's new XPS.
The implosion will not provide the most reliable coverage anywhere with AT&T.
The implosion will not back you up with Chase credit cards.

The implosion will not be reversible, will not be reversible,
will not be reversible, will not be reversible.
There will be no more Orange or High alerts
in the airline sector from Homeland Security.
The implosion will be real.